Tough love

It's been over nine months since I've been engaged, and my wedding is less than eight months away.  For the most part, I am very excited for one of the biggest days of my life.  Unfortunately, there's been something that's been quite frustrating for me.  Normally, the couple's family would be excited for the couple's big day.  Sadly, I don't get that feeling from my family.  I've been thinking about it more lately, and it depresses me.  It's gotten to a point where I don't care anymore... I don't care if they don't attend my big day.  I've gotten unpleasant feedback.

For example:

• I did not get a "Congratulations" from my oldest brother since informing my siblings I got engaged on 6/6/10.  And til this day, nothing.  And to be told that the oldest son has to walk me down the aisle, are you f*ing kidding me??? 
• I called my sister during my lunch break one day to let her know that a date's been set.  After telling her the date and time, she said that she would have to find someone to cover for her because she can't close the shop.  I asked if they would close the shop if they couldn't find anyone to cover.  Answer - no, they "can't".  Seriously?  For just one day?  I was really upset hearing that from my older sister - someone who I consider to be one of my closest siblings - after lunch that I told Emmanuell and even tried to hold back my tears.  Emmanuell ended up talking to my sister to say that it already hurts that no one seems to be excited for me. 
• My mom does not approve, and she never will.  There's no need to explain any further here.
• I've been told how I HAVE to invite my mom.  Given they know how much she despises the relationship and how miserable I was dealing with her physical, emotional and verbal abuse, I have to invite someone who I KNOW will do something traumatizing on one of the most important days of my life.  They make it sound soo easy, as if she'll happily accept the invitation and all of a sudden behave and accept my marriage to my future husband.  I'm sorry, you do know Mom longer than I have... do you not remember anything? 

It really sucks.  I hate it.  Given the fact on how important this day is to me, it disappoints me that I have to deal w/ this crap.  It's gotten to the point where I'm giving up on getting any support from my family.  I feel like there isn't even an ounce of excitement.  It hurts... a lot.  What also hurts is when I keep trying to hope that things have changed, but then nothing changes.  I receive the same outcome.  Going through that repetitive cycle of hoping that there is some sort of support/excitement/affection continues to get crushed.  Every single time, it's a slap in the face.  It makes me wonder if there is a point to be optimistic on this issue.  Why?  Because so far, it just fails me.  I thought that after my dad passed, things would get better (i.e. better communication, moral support, showing more affection).  I guess I thought wrong.  I've learned to not put up with that crap, to avoid getting screwed over by family.  It seems like me not wanting to put a car or house under my name (things that wouldn't serve as my own vehicle to drive in or a house for me to live in) labels me as the black sheep in the family.

I've worked my ass off.  Knowing that I have my loans to pay on top of my other expenses, I've been much better at managing my finances, and I refuse to get myself involved in situations where I feel I'd get screwed.  I have done my best to give my advice to forewarn them "no, don't do it" because I'd have a gut feeling that they'll get screwed over.  They go ahead and do it anyway.  Then lo and behold - bam, I'm right.

That's family...

Engagement

My cousin in France is engaged!  I'm super happy for him!!  Congrats Michel!! =)

Smile!

It's been one year since I got my braces removed.  Wow... I don't miss that at all!

Drained... need sleep

I am very looking forward to this weekend.  Why?  Because I'll be staying in and will get to catch up on sleep!  It's been tiring since the weekend.  Emmanuell's dad was in town for the weekend (flew in late Thursday night and left Monday morning).  What did we do?

Friday - While I was at work, Emmanuell took him to explore in Hollywood (wax museum, walk of fame, etc).  When I got home, we headed out to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles for dinner then went to bowl in Arcadia.  I was too tired that I just watched them bowl.

Saturday - We started the morning with horseback riding followed by crepes for brunch.  After that, we headed to Sherman Oaks for a couple rounds of miniature golfing before heading to Santa Monica to walk along Ocean and  dinner at C&O's Trattoria.

Sunday - We had a later start (Daylight savings and Emmanuell and I didn't go to bed til after midnight).  We stayed home to have breakfast before going bowling for a couple hours.  After that, we decided to go check out the Arboretum in Arcadia.  It was quite nice.  We were there until the Arboretum was closing before we headed to Wood Ranch for dinner.  Yummm, bbq.

No one was awake when I left for work Monday morning, so I didn't get to say 'bye' to his dad since he was leaving that late morning.  It was a pretty busy weekend!  Overall, it was enjoyable and I'm glad to hear Emmanuell's dad had a great time here.  He plans to stay longer for our wedding!

I didn't get a chance to go to bed early Monday night.  On Tuesday, we headed to Long Beach to meet up w/ my friends for dinner and didn't get home til about 11pm.  Then I spent last night just cleaning the kitchen... So no going to bed on my usual time in the past week.

I'm le TIRED.

RIP Nate Dogg

Heard the sad news this morning...

March Madness

No... not at all related to basketball.  Work's been stressful.  That's all I have to say.  It doesn't help w/ the breakouts I've been getting.  Yuck.  We'll see how things go. 

Wish me luck, cuz I need it!

Relaxed Sunday

I must say today's a relaxed Sunday.  And I'm glad. =)

Friday night, Emmanuell and I headed to Pasadena to have dinner with my little brother and his gf (another double date).  It was fun.  It's always good to see them.  We got home at about 11, and I couldn't sleep at all.  I was just wide awake doing miscellaneous things and didn't fall asleep until 5am... very unusual for me!  I ended up waking up at 7am and couldn't go back to sleep.  I was worried considering we had a little get together for my friends and that I would end up running on just two hours of sleep.  I was a bit upset Friday given some news I heard and the possibly of no one coming on time.  Yup, that seems to be a common thing for certain guests... 

How bad can tardiness get?  A few years ago, I planned a little get together to watch the UCLA vs USC game.  I reminded the guests to come at a certain time (before the game started).  I spent all morning prepping all the food.  Once the game started, no one showed up.  No one responded.  Nada.  I ended up eating and watching the game by myself.  The first guest to show up didn't get there until after the game had already ended.  It was a disappointment.

This time, some told me they'd plan to come to the party six hours late.  Yes... six hours late.  We informed them that guests would probably leave by then.  By the time they were almost here, guests were already getting ready to head out. 

On the brighter side, I'm glad the guests enjoyed themselves.  We had plenty of food and desserts left.  It was enjoyable.  We ended up staying in after the party (knowing I'd probably pass out from the lack of sleep).  It was very relaxing.

Now we just watched the Lakers vs Spurs game - what a GREAT game!  It's been a comfortable Sunday.  If only I had a three-day weekend.