finally out

i feel refreshed. in pasadena now. i covered my apt w/ flea powder, no clue how i got fleas at my place! have accumulated 70+ bites, i'm finally able to do something about it. =) after drenching my carpet in powder, i packed up some stuff and took off. once i got to pasadena, i jumped in the shower. the smell of the powder was strong, and i needed to shower in case it got on my skin. after getting cleaned up, i had some breakfast/lunch, and i've been chillin' since. i feel good today. webcamming w/ my love was great last night. i met his aunt (dad's sister), and she said that i was beautiful (altho i was gross cuz i just finished working out and having dinner and such). hair was tied up and messy, i just looked gross! anyway, it was a nice chat. we booked tix for nov! (well, he did.) i guess i'm glad i'm back feeling this way after the silence the other night.

i miss you babe. counting the days til i'm back in your arms!

feeling of blah

bought a one-way ticket yesterday morning at work. i bought it while jen was in my office having breakfast. i'll be back in my babe's arms next weekend. i guess the question is how long i'll be there. i think the possible return date will be the 22nd. i still have to return for work. the ticket wasn't bad at all, surprisingly. i was excited when i purchased it cuz i get to see him. last night we booked tix for thanksgiving wkend. things were going well, then the mood changed. i didn't enjoy the rest of the night. silence and uncomfort.

i want it.

i guess things are okay now. but why do i still feel blah?

unable to focus

i'm here at work now, unable to focus. i somewhat feel overwhelmed right now. i dunno what emotion i'm feeling. it just feels all bunched up together, and there's a knot inside me. my world's just spinning. i just want to shut down and cry. i dunno. i wish he was here. i'm worried, i'm scared, i'm stressed, i'm sad, i'm anxious. at this second, my thought is - i miss him so much. i wish i wasn't here. i feel stuck here. i'd rather be there instead of waiting here. i can't stand waiting, esp during urgent times. things are unfair where i am now, really unfair. if i could, i'd leave. i wish i was in bed now. i just want to go and scream it all out. i miss you babe.

last night was robert's bday dinner. even though half the table remained empty, it was nice. i think he enjoyed his day. 28!


blah, i want to cry. stupid confused feelings.

transition - goodbye xanga?

xanga seems more complicated w/ unnecessary added features. i think i'll try this and see how it goes. already seems easier since i can automatically access it when i'm on gmail.

my previous blogs: xanga.com/slyangel522

i had xanga since 2003... goodbye xanga?