Last night, Emmanuell and I met up with my bridesmaid, Sandy, and her husband for Ethiopian food. It was long overdue but we finally made it happen!
I really appreciated them listening to me share about the drama I've been facing in the last several months. It's been difficult for me. They were very helpful and sincere when sharing their thoughts about everything and offering their advice. I do have a big decision to make. However, I need to be happy. I have a feeling that whatever I decide, I will forever be blamed.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
oh boy
have a 9am meeting this morning... i am definitely not looking forward to it since i don't have a good feeling about it.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
C'est la vie
It's been a while since I've posted here. I've been busy with work, little wedding errands here and there, and just doing other things. Things have been fine for the most part. Wedding planning is going very well. We sent out invitations a few weeks ago. Three months to go, time is going by fairly quick. There's been some unfortunate events going on that have made me very upset in the past few months. That's been bumming me out a lot. I am giving up with my family. It's too much heartache for me. I can't do this anymore. To be happy, I need to move on. C'est la vie
Sunday, June 19, 2011
6 Years + Father's Day
Today is Father's Day, and this past Thursday marked exactly 6 years since my dad passed. I honestly have so many thoughts in my head that it's hard to spill it all. Even though many months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds have passed, it is still difficult. I miss him so much.
Ba, it's been very different this past year, particularly these last few months. I'm slowly giving up. When I visited you in TX a few months back, I told you that I'm getting married and introduced you to Emmanuell. He's made me very happy these past couple years, and he simply loves me. I honestly do hope I at least make you proud with my decisions because I don't feel like I do with the rest of our family. Since no one has really congratulated me in person since being engaged a year ago, I feel as if no one supports me. It's tough. Since I am getting married in less than 5 months, I want to be able to bring him to family events. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. I just choose to not go because I am not leaving Emmanuell behind; he is part of me now. I do need your help, Ba. I don't know how things can get any better at this point. It hurts a lot. For the first time in my life, I'm extremely happy. I'm taking care of myself, I am paying off loans and other expenses, I have an amazing man whom I will be spending the rest of my life with. All I ask is for my family to support me and my happiness. For one of the biggest moments in my life, I don't receive anything from them. It upsets me, but since I cannot control their actions or tell them how to respond, I cannot do anything about it. For the time being, I have no choice but to surround myself in thoughts outside of them. I do not want to continue to put up with the drama and the issues. Right now, this problem is the main thing putting me down and ruining the excitement I should have for my big day.
I know you're watching over us. If there is a way for you to get the rest of our family to understand, accept, and support me, please help. I don't know what else to do. At this rate and considering how things have been, I don't know if I want them there on my big day...
I love you and miss you so much, Ba.
Ba, it's been very different this past year, particularly these last few months. I'm slowly giving up. When I visited you in TX a few months back, I told you that I'm getting married and introduced you to Emmanuell. He's made me very happy these past couple years, and he simply loves me. I honestly do hope I at least make you proud with my decisions because I don't feel like I do with the rest of our family. Since no one has really congratulated me in person since being engaged a year ago, I feel as if no one supports me. It's tough. Since I am getting married in less than 5 months, I want to be able to bring him to family events. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. I just choose to not go because I am not leaving Emmanuell behind; he is part of me now. I do need your help, Ba. I don't know how things can get any better at this point. It hurts a lot. For the first time in my life, I'm extremely happy. I'm taking care of myself, I am paying off loans and other expenses, I have an amazing man whom I will be spending the rest of my life with. All I ask is for my family to support me and my happiness. For one of the biggest moments in my life, I don't receive anything from them. It upsets me, but since I cannot control their actions or tell them how to respond, I cannot do anything about it. For the time being, I have no choice but to surround myself in thoughts outside of them. I do not want to continue to put up with the drama and the issues. Right now, this problem is the main thing putting me down and ruining the excitement I should have for my big day.
I know you're watching over us. If there is a way for you to get the rest of our family to understand, accept, and support me, please help. I don't know what else to do. At this rate and considering how things have been, I don't know if I want them there on my big day...
I love you and miss you so much, Ba.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
My 26th birthday
Tomorrow I turn 26. I've been very tired lately (w/ work and other things going on) so I didn't plan anything to celebrate w/ friends this year. Since I will be seeing the remaining local friends at an upcoming sendoff lunch I'm planning in a few weeks, I decided to go on a date w/ my hubby-to-be for my bday weekend.
My birthday weekend started off with checking out the new apartment I'll be living in two weeks from now. The master bedroom, master bathroom, and master walk-in closet are much larger than the unit (with similar floorplan) we looked at before. That made E very happy. A guest can even sleep in the closet! On the way home, we headed to the Galleria to walk around and shop and get dinner. E got me bday gift #1. =) We then walked to the Americana to pick up my free bday gift from Sephora followed by purchasing a sports bra at Lululemon. It was one of the relaxing days I've had after work in a while; it was nice.
This morning, E & I got dolled up (excited to wear my bday gift) and headed to Santa Monica to get brunch at Urth Caffe (one of my favorite breakfast places!). Surprisingly they had E's favorite fruit danish (even though we didn't see it in their nearly empty display showcase). That made E very happy today! (Oh the little joys in life!) Once we filled our tummies, we headed to PCH to go to the Getty Villa. I LOVE the architecture there! All the columns got me all excited and happy! It was our first time going to the Getty Villa, and we enjoyed it very much. I look forward to going back there again!!
We made a quick stop at home to drop off some bottles I bought from BevMo then headed to dinner in Hollywood. One word - YUMM. And, of course, I got my bday dessert to finish tomorrow. =)
Today was enjoyable and relaxing. I had such a wonderful time. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. =D
My birthday weekend started off with checking out the new apartment I'll be living in two weeks from now. The master bedroom, master bathroom, and master walk-in closet are much larger than the unit (with similar floorplan) we looked at before. That made E very happy. A guest can even sleep in the closet! On the way home, we headed to the Galleria to walk around and shop and get dinner. E got me bday gift #1. =) We then walked to the Americana to pick up my free bday gift from Sephora followed by purchasing a sports bra at Lululemon. It was one of the relaxing days I've had after work in a while; it was nice.
This morning, E & I got dolled up (excited to wear my bday gift) and headed to Santa Monica to get brunch at Urth Caffe (one of my favorite breakfast places!). Surprisingly they had E's favorite fruit danish (even though we didn't see it in their nearly empty display showcase). That made E very happy today! (Oh the little joys in life!) Once we filled our tummies, we headed to PCH to go to the Getty Villa. I LOVE the architecture there! All the columns got me all excited and happy! It was our first time going to the Getty Villa, and we enjoyed it very much. I look forward to going back there again!!
We made a quick stop at home to drop off some bottles I bought from BevMo then headed to dinner in Hollywood. One word - YUMM. And, of course, I got my bday dessert to finish tomorrow. =)
Today was enjoyable and relaxing. I had such a wonderful time. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. =D
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Busy week of visitors!
The past week has been busy. Two of our friends (also in our wedding party) were in town at the same time. On Wednesday night, we stayed out in the west side to meet up with a few of Emmanuell's grad school friends for dinner at C&O's Cucina followed by boba. Then on Thursday, we went out to Father's Office where I was reunited with my favorite beer. On Friday night, I stayed up til about 2am (I couldn't sleep for some reason) and ended up just cleaning the apartment since M was staying w/ us the following night.
On Saturday morning, we drove out to SGV to pick up L and headed to dim sum with other grade school friends. M came to meet up w/ us and got to meet a few of my friends. E went with M to help him pack while my friends and I hung out and went for some boba at Tea Station. A few hours later, we headed down to Gardena for kbbq and boba (again for me) with E's grad school friends. We also got to meet an adorable newborn! By that time it was sometime after 10pm. The three of us then headed to J-town for karaoke w/ M's sister. That lasted til around 2:30am. After we got home, we played a boardgame til about 6am. We were up for almost 24 hrs! E and I woke up around three hours later and browsed online til M woke up for a late breakfast before he left.
This past weekend was very much needed! I really enjoyed the weekend, thanks to L & M being in town. It felt like Wednesday night started the weekend! Looking forward to the next reunion!
On Saturday morning, we drove out to SGV to pick up L and headed to dim sum with other grade school friends. M came to meet up w/ us and got to meet a few of my friends. E went with M to help him pack while my friends and I hung out and went for some boba at Tea Station. A few hours later, we headed down to Gardena for kbbq and boba (again for me) with E's grad school friends. We also got to meet an adorable newborn! By that time it was sometime after 10pm. The three of us then headed to J-town for karaoke w/ M's sister. That lasted til around 2:30am. After we got home, we played a boardgame til about 6am. We were up for almost 24 hrs! E and I woke up around three hours later and browsed online til M woke up for a late breakfast before he left.
This past weekend was very much needed! I really enjoyed the weekend, thanks to L & M being in town. It felt like Wednesday night started the weekend! Looking forward to the next reunion!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Quick updates
It's been nearly a month since I've updated. Not too much has happened.
- lunch date w/one of my bridesmaids and her hubby
- dinner w/ some of Emmanuell's grad school friends
- wedding errands
- visit a dear friend's mom in the hospital
- watching the playoffs
- apartment hunting
- watched "Thor" (surprisingly good movie)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
When the man is away...
I go shopping!
Emmanuell was out of town (Thurs night thru Mon morn) visiting a friend. Since he booked his trip, I've been contemplating on whether to go to SD. What pushed me to make it a day trip and do the driving solo on Saturday? It became an advanced retail therapy before I went to see my family the next day. Yes, I felt like it was a needed trip down. Also, my friend, O, who lives in SD tempted me w/ turon and my favorite dessert place. Yes, she knows how to through to me!
I woke up at 6:45am Saturday morning (after going to bed past 1am) to get ready. I left at about 7:40 and arrive at O's house in SD at 9:35. We headed out to brunch at Goldilocks (same place we've been to a few times before). Afterwards, O and I headed to an outlet to start some shopping. I bought some heels for work, mascara, and stocked up on hand soaps and shower gels.
After doing some damage (our shopping bags from Bath & Body Works were a bit heavy hence it was double bagged), we decided to head out to get some dessert. Yup, whenever I go down to SD, dessert is a must. Once we devoured our delicious treats, we headed back to O's house to drop off the to-go desserts we ordered before going out to another mall. We did some more shopping at VS. I also bought a couple tops at a store I've never heard of (until now). We decided to leave before doing more damage. (Thanks O for dragging my butt out of there!!) We went to Lolita's for dinner. They've got some massive burritos! We headed to O's house after dinner to chill and chat for a couple hours. It started to get late (sadness!) and so I left at around 9:30 to drive back and got home at about midnight.
What a FUN day trip! Thank you soo much O for spending the day with me eating and shopping! No shopping for a while, haha. Good times, good times. =)
Emmanuell was out of town (Thurs night thru Mon morn) visiting a friend. Since he booked his trip, I've been contemplating on whether to go to SD. What pushed me to make it a day trip and do the driving solo on Saturday? It became an advanced retail therapy before I went to see my family the next day. Yes, I felt like it was a needed trip down. Also, my friend, O, who lives in SD tempted me w/ turon and my favorite dessert place. Yes, she knows how to through to me!
I woke up at 6:45am Saturday morning (after going to bed past 1am) to get ready. I left at about 7:40 and arrive at O's house in SD at 9:35. We headed out to brunch at Goldilocks (same place we've been to a few times before). Afterwards, O and I headed to an outlet to start some shopping. I bought some heels for work, mascara, and stocked up on hand soaps and shower gels.
What a FUN day trip! Thank you soo much O for spending the day with me eating and shopping! No shopping for a while, haha. Good times, good times. =)
Monday, March 21, 2011
Tough love
It's been over nine months since I've been engaged, and my wedding is less than eight months away. For the most part, I am very excited for one of the biggest days of my life. Unfortunately, there's been something that's been quite frustrating for me. Normally, the couple's family would be excited for the couple's big day. Sadly, I don't get that feeling from my family. I've been thinking about it more lately, and it depresses me. It's gotten to a point where I don't care anymore... I don't care if they don't attend my big day. I've gotten unpleasant feedback.
For example:
I've worked my ass off. Knowing that I have my loans to pay on top of my other expenses, I've been much better at managing my finances, and I refuse to get myself involved in situations where I feel I'd get screwed. I have done my best to give my advice to forewarn them "no, don't do it" because I'd have a gut feeling that they'll get screwed over. They go ahead and do it anyway. Then lo and behold - bam, I'm right.
That's family...
For example:
- I did not get a "Congratulations" from my oldest brother since informing my siblings I got engaged on 6/6/10. And til this day, nothing. And to be told that the oldest son has to walk me down the aisle, are you f*ing kidding me???
- I called my sister during my lunch break one day to let her know that a date's been set. After telling her the date and time, she said that she would have to find someone to cover for her because she can't close the shop. I asked if they would close the shop if they couldn't find anyone to cover. Answer - no, they "can't". Seriously? For just one day? I was really upset hearing that from my older sister - someone who I consider to be one of my closest siblings - after lunch that I told Emmanuell and even tried to hold back my tears. Emmanuell ended up talking to my sister to say that it already hurts that no one seems to be excited for me.
- My mom does not approve, and she never will. There's no need to explain any further here.
- I've been told how I HAVE to invite my mom. Given they know how much she despises the relationship and how miserable I was dealing with her physical, emotional and verbal abuse, I have to invite someone who I KNOW will do something traumatizing on one of the most important days of my life. They make it sound soo easy, as if she'll happily accept the invitation and all of a sudden behave and accept my marriage to my future husband. I'm sorry, you do know Mom longer than I have... do you not remember anything?
I've worked my ass off. Knowing that I have my loans to pay on top of my other expenses, I've been much better at managing my finances, and I refuse to get myself involved in situations where I feel I'd get screwed. I have done my best to give my advice to forewarn them "no, don't do it" because I'd have a gut feeling that they'll get screwed over. They go ahead and do it anyway. Then lo and behold - bam, I'm right.
That's family...
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Drained... need sleep
I am very looking forward to this weekend. Why? Because I'll be staying in and will get to catch up on sleep! It's been tiring since the weekend. Emmanuell's dad was in town for the weekend (flew in late Thursday night and left Monday morning). What did we do?
Friday - While I was at work, Emmanuell took him to explore in Hollywood (wax museum, walk of fame, etc). When I got home, we headed out to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles for dinner then went to bowl in Arcadia. I was too tired that I just watched them bowl.
Saturday - We started the morning with horseback riding followed by crepes for brunch. After that, we headed to Sherman Oaks for a couple rounds of miniature golfing before heading to Santa Monica to walk along Ocean and dinner at C&O's Trattoria.
Sunday - We had a later start (Daylight savings and Emmanuell and I didn't go to bed til after midnight). We stayed home to have breakfast before going bowling for a couple hours. After that, we decided to go check out the Arboretum in Arcadia. It was quite nice. We were there until the Arboretum was closing before we headed to Wood Ranch for dinner. Yummm, bbq.
No one was awake when I left for work Monday morning, so I didn't get to say 'bye' to his dad since he was leaving that late morning. It was a pretty busy weekend! Overall, it was enjoyable and I'm glad to hear Emmanuell's dad had a great time here. He plans to stay longer for our wedding!
I didn't get a chance to go to bed early Monday night. On Tuesday, we headed to Long Beach to meet up w/ my friends for dinner and didn't get home til about 11pm. Then I spent last night just cleaning the kitchen... So no going to bed on my usual time in the past week.
I'm le TIRED.
Friday - While I was at work, Emmanuell took him to explore in Hollywood (wax museum, walk of fame, etc). When I got home, we headed out to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles for dinner then went to bowl in Arcadia. I was too tired that I just watched them bowl.
Saturday - We started the morning with horseback riding followed by crepes for brunch. After that, we headed to Sherman Oaks for a couple rounds of miniature golfing before heading to Santa Monica to walk along Ocean and dinner at C&O's Trattoria.
Sunday - We had a later start (Daylight savings and Emmanuell and I didn't go to bed til after midnight). We stayed home to have breakfast before going bowling for a couple hours. After that, we decided to go check out the Arboretum in Arcadia. It was quite nice. We were there until the Arboretum was closing before we headed to Wood Ranch for dinner. Yummm, bbq.
No one was awake when I left for work Monday morning, so I didn't get to say 'bye' to his dad since he was leaving that late morning. It was a pretty busy weekend! Overall, it was enjoyable and I'm glad to hear Emmanuell's dad had a great time here. He plans to stay longer for our wedding!
I didn't get a chance to go to bed early Monday night. On Tuesday, we headed to Long Beach to meet up w/ my friends for dinner and didn't get home til about 11pm. Then I spent last night just cleaning the kitchen... So no going to bed on my usual time in the past week.
I'm le TIRED.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
March Madness
No... not at all related to basketball. Work's been stressful. That's all I have to say. It doesn't help w/ the breakouts I've been getting. Yuck. We'll see how things go.
Wish me luck, cuz I need it!
Wish me luck, cuz I need it!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Relaxed Sunday
I must say today's a relaxed Sunday. And I'm glad. =)
Friday night, Emmanuell and I headed to Pasadena to have dinner with my little brother and his gf (another double date). It was fun. It's always good to see them. We got home at about 11, and I couldn't sleep at all. I was just wide awake doing miscellaneous things and didn't fall asleep until 5am... very unusual for me! I ended up waking up at 7am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was worried considering we had a little get together for my friends and that I would end up running on just two hours of sleep. I was a bit upset Friday given some news I heard and the possibly of no one coming on time. Yup, that seems to be a common thing for certain guests...
How bad can tardiness get? A few years ago, I planned a little get together to watch the UCLA vs USC game. I reminded the guests to come at a certain time (before the game started). I spent all morning prepping all the food. Once the game started, no one showed up. No one responded. Nada. I ended up eating and watching the game by myself. The first guest to show up didn't get there until after the game had already ended. It was a disappointment.
This time, some told me they'd plan to come to the party six hours late. Yes... six hours late. We informed them that guests would probably leave by then. By the time they were almost here, guests were already getting ready to head out.
On the brighter side, I'm glad the guests enjoyed themselves. We had plenty of food and desserts left. It was enjoyable. We ended up staying in after the party (knowing I'd probably pass out from the lack of sleep). It was very relaxing.
Now we just watched the Lakers vs Spurs game - what a GREAT game! It's been a comfortable Sunday. If only I had a three-day weekend.
Friday night, Emmanuell and I headed to Pasadena to have dinner with my little brother and his gf (another double date). It was fun. It's always good to see them. We got home at about 11, and I couldn't sleep at all. I was just wide awake doing miscellaneous things and didn't fall asleep until 5am... very unusual for me! I ended up waking up at 7am and couldn't go back to sleep. I was worried considering we had a little get together for my friends and that I would end up running on just two hours of sleep. I was a bit upset Friday given some news I heard and the possibly of no one coming on time. Yup, that seems to be a common thing for certain guests...
How bad can tardiness get? A few years ago, I planned a little get together to watch the UCLA vs USC game. I reminded the guests to come at a certain time (before the game started). I spent all morning prepping all the food. Once the game started, no one showed up. No one responded. Nada. I ended up eating and watching the game by myself. The first guest to show up didn't get there until after the game had already ended. It was a disappointment.
This time, some told me they'd plan to come to the party six hours late. Yes... six hours late. We informed them that guests would probably leave by then. By the time they were almost here, guests were already getting ready to head out.
On the brighter side, I'm glad the guests enjoyed themselves. We had plenty of food and desserts left. It was enjoyable. We ended up staying in after the party (knowing I'd probably pass out from the lack of sleep). It was very relaxing.
Now we just watched the Lakers vs Spurs game - what a GREAT game! It's been a comfortable Sunday. If only I had a three-day weekend.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
One Year Already?!?
Today marked one year since I started my current job in the Dean's Office... Time flies!!!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Exciting Call this morning!!!
I got a surprise and lovely call from my Maid of Honor, Kelly!!! I was soo happy getting her call all the way from Botswana!!! I was/still am in such a happy mood after a 43 minute phone call. It just made my week! We'll be planning her trip to come for my big day, one of the things I am willing to do whatever it takes to get her to be there by my side. Aww, I love her!!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Winter Closure 2010
What did I do during the 2 week holiday closure??
Day 1 - wedding dress shopping in BH and Northridge w/ sean and heather (boys did their own thing); kbbq dinner and bowling w/ my grade school friends
Day 2 - wedding dress shopping in Pasadena
Day 3 - stay home to do chores (and to avoid 3 straight days of driving in the pouring rain)
Day 4 - wedding dress shopping in Torrance, Glendale, and Pasadena; dinner date in Glendale
Day 5 - run errands, picked up little brother and his gf to go up to my sister's to pray
Day 6 - fly out in the am to go to the east coast [left home at 7:45am (pacific time) and got to philly between 8-9pm (eastern time)]
Day 7 - drive down to wilmington, nc
Day 8 - 11 - spent quality time w/ emmanuell's relatives for the holidays [good company, yummy food, and lots of love]
Day 12 - drove back to philly
Day 13 - kbbq lunch w/ shandy (expensive!), spent evening exploring the mall til dinner
Day 14 - breakfast/brunch w/ a few of emmanuell's friends; stayed in the rest of the day
Day 15 - left the house at 4:30am (eastern time) for early flight back home, got to LA at 1pm (pacific time); got ready to go up to see my sister; went to arcadia to meet up w/ my friends til after midnight
Day 16 - stayed home to clean and do chores
overall, a busy break!
Day 1 - wedding dress shopping in BH and Northridge w/ sean and heather (boys did their own thing); kbbq dinner and bowling w/ my grade school friends
Day 2 - wedding dress shopping in Pasadena
Day 3 - stay home to do chores (and to avoid 3 straight days of driving in the pouring rain)
Day 4 - wedding dress shopping in Torrance, Glendale, and Pasadena; dinner date in Glendale
Day 5 - run errands, picked up little brother and his gf to go up to my sister's to pray
Day 6 - fly out in the am to go to the east coast [left home at 7:45am (pacific time) and got to philly between 8-9pm (eastern time)]
Day 7 - drive down to wilmington, nc
Day 8 - 11 - spent quality time w/ emmanuell's relatives for the holidays [good company, yummy food, and lots of love]
Day 12 - drove back to philly
Day 13 - kbbq lunch w/ shandy (expensive!), spent evening exploring the mall til dinner
Day 14 - breakfast/brunch w/ a few of emmanuell's friends; stayed in the rest of the day
Day 15 - left the house at 4:30am (eastern time) for early flight back home, got to LA at 1pm (pacific time); got ready to go up to see my sister; went to arcadia to meet up w/ my friends til after midnight
Day 16 - stayed home to clean and do chores
overall, a busy break!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Happy New Year!
What we did on New Year's 2011:
4:30am eastern time (1:30am pacific time) - go to PHL airport
1pm - at Burbank airport
1:40pm - get home to drop off luggage & shower
3:30pm - in Lancaster to spend time and have dinner w/ a few of my siblings and the kids
9:15pm - leave Lancaster
10:20pm - in Arcadia to meet up with some of my friends
12am - head home
up for 24+ hours!!
4:30am eastern time (1:30am pacific time) - go to PHL airport
1pm - at Burbank airport
1:40pm - get home to drop off luggage & shower
3:30pm - in Lancaster to spend time and have dinner w/ a few of my siblings and the kids
9:15pm - leave Lancaster
10:20pm - in Arcadia to meet up with some of my friends
12am - head home
up for 24+ hours!!
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