Today is Father's Day, and this past Thursday marked exactly 6 years since my dad passed. I honestly have so many thoughts in my head that it's hard to spill it all. Even though many months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds have passed, it is still difficult. I miss him so much.
Ba, it's been very different this past year, particularly these last few months. I'm slowly giving up. When I visited you in TX a few months back, I told you that I'm getting married and introduced you to Emmanuell. He's made me very happy these past couple years, and he simply loves me. I honestly do hope I at least make you proud with my decisions because I don't feel like I do with the rest of our family. Since no one has really congratulated me in person since being engaged a year ago, I feel as if no one supports me. It's tough. Since I am getting married in less than 5 months, I want to be able to bring him to family events. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. I just choose to not go because I am not leaving Emmanuell behind; he is part of me now. I do need your help, Ba. I don't know how things can get any better at this point. It hurts a lot. For the first time in my life, I'm extremely happy. I'm taking care of myself, I am paying off loans and other expenses, I have an amazing man whom I will be spending the rest of my life with. All I ask is for my family to support me and my happiness. For one of the biggest moments in my life, I don't receive anything from them. It upsets me, but since I cannot control their actions or tell them how to respond, I cannot do anything about it. For the time being, I have no choice but to surround myself in thoughts outside of them. I do not want to continue to put up with the drama and the issues. Right now, this problem is the main thing putting me down and ruining the excitement I should have for my big day.
I know you're watching over us. If there is a way for you to get the rest of our family to understand, accept, and support me, please help. I don't know what else to do. At this rate and considering how things have been, I don't know if I want them there on my big day...
I love you and miss you so much, Ba.
