speechless

R.I.P. chris henry

26... so young

bored at work...

it's currently lunch time.  it's been slow here today since today is the faculty retreat.  the day's been pretty boring.  i think that the only 'exciting' part was chatting w/ 'babyface'.  normally when i would walk down the hall and pass by him, he would not say a word when i say "hi".  not sure why, maybe he's shy.  today, he came by to submit his app and he made convo.  oddly enough, he asked if i'm wearing mbt!  heh, the question isn't why he's looking at the bottom half of my body but how did he know about my shoes!  quite impressive.  anyway, it was a nice chat.  i always thought that he just didn't really speak to staff.  haha.

ugh, i just can't wait til the day's over.  it's just too slow.  i have more stuff to do at home compared to here! actually, i can't wait til the wk's over.  i'm busy everyday this wk, gots lots of chores to do.  i can chill on sat.  even tho i have an appt sat morning and will be prepping stuff before my friends come over, i will be more relaxed and will be in a good mood.  yay!

competition

i called julie yesterday to check on the status... still no word until next week.  scurred!

i guess being one of the top 4 selected out of 150 applicants is a good thing.  some i've told said it's very impressive.  i guess for me it's different.  i just really want it... sigh.

one more week...

til the winter holiday closure!  i can't wait!

i realized that i'm busy for the rest of this month...

this wknd - dinner plans w/ eman's friends sat night, xmas brunch on sun

next wknd - bday dinner w/ eman's friends fri night, kickback w/ my friends on sat, fam time on sun

12/21 - 12/31 - east coast

wow, i'm booked...

happy birthday to my lil bro!  i love you and i'm proud of you!!!

december is finally here

i'm back in the west coast, got back wed night.  unfortunately, i came back w/ a full blown cold, didn't even go to work on thurs cuz of it.  i've been sick for a week now, ugh.  i think i got sick last sun night.  it was just a bad night falling asleep w/ tears down my face.  after that dinner, i just had a completely different mindset.  i'm not sure if i'll be able to get those images out of my head, i really don't.  i was completely disrespected, it was just unbelievable.  honestly, i will never ever be okay w/ any of that behavior in the future, even if i'm not present to see it.  the damage has been done.  that was just a rude and careless stunt, and i'd be stupid to forgive for that.  i'm not sure what will happen from now on, but all i know is that it has become a problem.  i'm not gonna put up w/ any of that sh!t.  ugh, this just makes me extremely angry and want to do some clawing and punching.  go away!!! 


w/ all of that added drama, i'm soo glad that december is now here.  altho i've been sick all week, just being w/ my babe just makes me sooo happy.  he's been taking good care of me, and even w/ the stuffy nose and moments of breathing difficulties, i enjoy every moment in his arms.  yeah yeah, it's cheesy (yuck, cheese), but that's just how i feel.  yup, i love my baby. =)  


so i got my xmas gift early... i love love love love love it!!!  i smile whenever i look at my finger.  days before our philly trip, i got some bad news and emmanuell took me out to cheer me up.  we went through 5 different jewelry stores.  at store #5, i started to grow attached to their styles and designs.  all i'll say is that it's beautiful.  he spotted it before i did!  the more i looked at it, the more i loved it.  i'm just excited and happy and in love, and i don't want anyone/anything to interfere w/ that.  honey, i love you very very much.  i can't wait for our first xmas together!  <3 <3 <3 


now i'm hungy.    

 

What a month

december is right around the corner.  i can't wait!  this month has been quite a month.  you can be the judge of the smiley faces and the blah faces.  earlier in the month, emmanuell and i joined jeannie and jerry for the death valley camping trip.  it was really fun, except for the coyotes and the wind.  it was a nice short getaway from the city.  very much needed.  for a couple of wknds, i helped my sis w/ her business.  it was tiring, but it was nice hanging out w/ the kids.  sma organized an office-themed kickback, which was really fun.  i miss them a lot.  haven't seen them in a long time, so i'm really glad i was able to go since i missed out on the 'cuz john said so' dinner last night.  a couple wks ago, my coworker got divorced and a former coworker got married.  even tho there wasn't a fancy wedding nor a wedding gown, it was very nice and entertaining.  i'm soo happy for them!  =)

oh yea, the news i was waiting to hear for 2 wks came back w/ sad news.  i was really upset.  that evening, emmanuell took me out.  he surprised me w/ cupcakes then took me shopping in glendale.  he bought me an early xmas gift.  i can't wait to get it.  it's currently at the jewelers getting a couple diamonds fixed.  that's one thing i'm looking forward to (hopefully the end of this wk).  i'm glad he was there to cheer me up and lift my spirits.  it was def better than just staying in and letting me mope (he won't let me do that).  i love him. <3

this thanksgiving was the first time having a significant other there.  emmanuell and i spent the day w/ my family.  he got to help with the dinner preparations and just enjoy it w/ my family and me.  i hope he enjoyed all the dishes we had - 2 turkeys, 1 ham, 3 trays of candied yams, 2 trays of green bean casserole, a plate of green beans, a pot of home-made mashed potatoes, 2 huge costco pumpkin pies, 1 home-made apple pie, hawaiian bread rolls, corn, and gravy.  yes, there were tons of food for just a dozen ppl.  unfortunately i couldn't pack any leftovers since we were leaving to philly the next morning.  we got our butt up at 5am the black friday morning only to go to the airport.  thanks a bunch steven for getting up early and taking us to santa ana!  our first flight was full but the connection flight was close to empty, which was nice.  we got to philly at around 7ish eastern time.  not much going on here (in philly).  last night was my babe's 10 yr reunion, so i missed the ucla vs usc game (BOO!).  the bar was cool. i def felt young.  i felt like i was the only chinese there.  i kept turning my head to the tv hoping that the football game would be on.  instead, they had a short class of 1999 slideshow on repeat.  sigh... guess what killed the night... oh, and pete carroll has no class!

to be cont'd...

crossing fingers...

i need all the luck i can get.  i really want it, but i'm nervous.  i'm hoping to hear some good news soon.

sigh..

the suspense! =(

still waiting...

it's been 24 days since my reimbursement was processed yet still not approved by my boss.  ugh. soo annoyed!

bling bling like no other!

i watched the lakers get their championship rings last night.  boy did they go all out.  more about the rings here.

the way we used to be...

Have U Ever Been Tired Of Ppl Asking 
How U Doin And U Say Im Takin It Day By Day. 
Everywhere I Go I Feel Like Ppl Laughin. 
Im So Stupid Cause I Let My Good Girl Get Away. 
My Life Aint Got No Betta, 
So U Must Not've Got My Letta. 
So Startin Today Im Lettin Go Of My Mistakes. 
Whatever U Wanna Say Baby Im Listenin Cuz I Kno

I Kno That I Hurt U
And I Dont Deserve U
And U Say Its Karma But No 
I Just Want One More
Give Me An Encore
Dont Walk Out That Door Baby

Just Call The Paramedics Cuz Baby I Wont Make It
If U Try To Tell Me U Dont Wanna B My Baby
So Dont Say That To Me If We Cant B The Way We Used To B.

U Complain About The Studio Had Me Stressin.
Weneva We Playin My Music Had U Guessin
If Im Out There On The Low
When All U Wanted To Kno Was When Im Comin Home.
Now Im Like Oh Oh
Got Me Lookin Crazy Oh Oh Oh
I Aint Got My Baby.
Jus Tell Me Whatever U Want Me To Be.
Baby Whatever U Need Shawty Im Listenin Cuz I Kno

I Kno That I Hurt U
And I Dont Deserve U
U Say Its Karma But No
I Jus Want One More
Give Me An Encore
Dont Walk Out That Door Baby

Just Call The Paramedics Cuz Baby I Wont Make It
If U Try To Tell Me U Dont Wanna B My Baby
So Dont Say That To Me If We Cant Be The Way We Used To Be


i heard this song and thought it was a really beautiful song.  i had it on repeat all day at work yesterday.

invisible

no one listens to me... on anything.
*sigh*

loong wknd

it was a long wknd again.  second straight wknd up in the av to help my sis.  we had another rocky ride all wknd, but we handled it... we're still hanging in there. =)  we're not gonna give up on us.  we have a goal, and we are working on achieving it.  i hope that the process will be a smooth one.  that is much needed.  communication... love... and trust... then it'll be okay...  we will be okay.  i want us to just sit on top of the world together... let's make it happen. =)

we took the kids to blackbird park and to the av mall yesterday.  it was really nice.  the kids very much enjoyed it!  i'm glad.  i enjoyed watching the kids play basketball w/ sam and my babe.  they were bonding!  yesterday evening just seemed... peaceful... like being a happy family.  i miss those feelings.  i miss the kids already. 

i'm glad this wk is a 4 day work wk. 

i love you babe.  i hope this past wknd made us stronger together... time will tell.

two weeks...

still haven't gotten my reimbursement approved by reviewer, ugh.

ugh

wth??

busy october

not sure why i've been feeling good these past couple days, but i like it.  altho not much has happened, it feels like, at the same time, lots did. 

this month has been going well, at least from what i remember.  my fam and i got together in the 661 to pray.  it happened to fall on the same day as sue's bday, so before going up, i bought a couple cupcakes for her.  we had a good dinner, lots of laughter.  it's always a good feeling when that happens.

what happened next?  celebrating the 1 year anniversary w/ my babe!  my long term project/gift was completed for him.  he wouldn't tell me (for obvious reasons) what he was doing, but he initially wasn't sure if his plan would work.  did it? YES.  what did he do?  he placed roses at places where i'd be.  the first one came during my lunch break.  after having lunch, i walked back to find a single rose taped on my office door.  the card read something along the lines of "follow the roses home".  when i left work, i found rose #2 - on the windshield of my car.  when i got home, i parked my car on the street and headed up the side entrance to the garage, which is where i found rose #3.  rose #4 was in the elevator.  rose #5 was on the apt door.  last but not least, rose #6 was w/ my love.  it was very romantic - candles, roses.  i loved it.  he loved my gift too.  he had no clue that a scrapbook was the gift (whew!).  we got dolled up and headed to fine dining at arroyo chop house.  it was THE perfect ambiance for our celebration.  it was an amazing anniversary.  <3  he said he's never gone all out to do these things before, that just made me really special.  i think i mean a lot to him. =P

then comes this past wknd.  it was a BUSY one.  on saturday, we headed to lbc to pick up my bib, d-tag, shirt, etc.  we met robert and florence at the expo.  after getting those things, we went to have lunch at open sesame.  food was good!  then we split up - robert and florence going to a wedding followed by a jason mraz concert, and we headed to a baby shower followed by a bday dinner.  it was a looong day.  we got home 10:30ish.  we had to get up at 4:30am so my babe could drop me off at robert's.  robert, florence and i carpooled to go to lbc for our half marathon.  initially, i thought i wouldn't finish.  luckily i bought two shinsplint wraps at the expo, one for each leg.  those were my lifesavers!  it helped me get past mile 1.  towards the end, i almost cried thinking "where the heck is mile marker 13?!?"  each mile felt like it was longer than the mile before.  anyhow, i was in a lot of pain, but i FINISHED.  3:07... not bad for not training!  at least that's what i think!  my love couldn't make it on time to be at the finish line, but that's okay.  he put up w/ my pain and took me to pho 79.  after dealing w/ some of the pain, it just felt rewarding that i accomplished that.  i guess there were ppl praying for me!

since the half marathon, i started thinking about cali dreamin' medal.  i WANT it.  i'm gonna work for it. i will work for it.  i think i can handle it, i'm determined.  i will put my time into this.  yes i will.  watch me do this!  more on this later...

another highlight... i bought a BR bag.  i saved $80!  it's bigger than i thought (esp since it's a 'medium'), but i still like it.  good purchase, good purchase.  =)

prettiest friend

this song makes me smile and happy.  i love you very much babe. <3

13.1 w/out training? piece of cake!!

yup, another big accomplishment, this time... w/ no training.  i'm surprised and satisfied that my time wasn't as bad as i thought it'd be.  no training is not recommended, btw.  i am feeling the aftermath right now as i walk like a penguin, haha.  but it's worth it... why?  we got a cupcake at the finish line!  yes, WORTH it! haha.  i'll post more later when i have more time to get into detail about it.  i just recall that near crying experience towards the end, thinking "where the heck is the 13 mile marker?!?"  each mile felt like it was farther away from the previous mile.  oh gosh, i can't imagine a full marathon.  next year? we shall see.  i am DEFINITELY not skipping the training if i do tho.  post marathon meal - pho.  YUMMMM, it felt so good to eat that after the run.  until next time... i need to upload pics from my phone!

do you know what today is?

IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY... OUR ANNIVERSARY!!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY BABE!!!  I LOVE YOU W/ ALL MY HEART! 

*MUAH!*

smiles

my sis called me while at work to tell me that sue said my babe and i look good together, that i found myself a good guy, no one ghetto or anything.  so she approves. =)

geez...

IT support here is S-L-O-W!  maybe i should make a list again like i used to.  =/

something that needed to be fixed since 12/11/2007 still has not been fixed... catch my drift??

pathetic...

maybe i'm really mean.

today is...

happy birthday to my love!  <3  i'm looking forward to a romantic night out w/ my honey. i love you very much!  *muah*


blah w/ work...
the amount of time it takes to print out a timesheet and sign it should be no more than a minute.  considering a bunch of time is spent on fb, why not get the timesheet over w/?  the friday budget deadline should NOT be an excuse, esp if fb is on the desktop!  FAIL.  i can't wait for this work day to be over.

i want to go to hearst castle, and i can't wait til i get my refund from my old place.

home sweet home

this past wkend was a 4-day wkend.  tuesday was a furlough day.  it was a busy 4 days spent on moving and hanging out.  saturday was the big move day.  on sunday morning, my babe and i went to bellflower in search of a drawer chest that matched the bedroom set.  result?  it was the LAST one! so, i whipped out my cc and paid for it.  it's his bday gift.  heh, i have first dibs on the drawers.  that afternoon, his friends visited from sd to hang out and have dinner.  they're soo sweet, they bought me a torta misu!  ahhh, it was sooo yummy.  i didn't finish it til yesterday.  they're really nice ppl.  =)  w/ the torta misu, they earned 50 brownie points!  hehe.  on monday, we went to c&o's to have lunch w/ his former roomie from college.  it was a long but nice lunch!  parking was HORRIBLE tho, spent an hour looking.  after lunch, we went back to my (old) apartment to grab some more items.  we went to citadel to see if anything was good at BR... the good news was that we went home empty handed!  went back to the apt tues morning to get more stuff.  our home is still a mess.  we should be getting the dresser sometime this afternoon.  once that arrives and i get home, i can unpack my clothes!  i'm hoping to get most of the unpacking done tonight. 

so how does it feel?  good.  our first place together. =)  i have to get used to the daily commute, esp now that summer's over and there are more cars on the freeway.  my stuff being added makes it feel more complete.  <3  yay!

in the mornin'

after i was done getting ready to leave this morning, i just couldn't stop smiling when my love was staring into my eyes calling me beautiful...

did i laugh? umm... heh, not this time. =)

SpeCiFic - dang, hahaha

(shows pic)
kt: eww
me: hahahahha
kt: just because ur blonde
kt: doesnt mean ur hot
me: okie, what i said wasn't as bad then
me: lol
kt: this just confirmed it
me: hahahah
kt: looks like a dude in a wig
me: lol
me: hahaha
me: that just made me laugh
kt: wat
me: dude in a wig
kt: its true
kt: i would be a more attractive girl

this convo made me laugh... a lot... hands down

inferno

watching these fires burning down the town i spent 13 yrs of my life in makes me really sad. several friends i've grown up w/ have had to evacuate. *sigh* i hope they contain the fires soon. ='(

why i don't like picking up/paying stuff for work

ugh, jason processed my reimbursement on 8/24. today is 9/1. yesterday i emailed my boss to approve my reimbursement cuz jason said she hasn't approved it. no response yesterday. i emailed her this morning, still no response. i then IM'd her to ask. her response? "YES". gee, why did it take so damn long. when she needs to get reimbursed, she would tell jason to drop everything and get it done "NOW". ugh, not f*ckin' fair. this is why i don't like being responsible for picking up the water and cookies for the seminar. it's bullshit... complete bullshit. so in the meantime, i'm getting charged interest. will my job cover for that? of course not. what do i think about it? F'D UP.

yes, i'm annoyed.

SHOOT

B*TCH, PLEASE

testimonial

i came across this as i was going through my stuff. it was a testimonial that kenneth had written about me on 9/10/03:

there are many words to describe susan. i can't just use one so i'll write a long testimonial to get my point across. first of all she will always be the person that will be there when there is no one else to turn to. though susan is very popular she would hang out with anyone. she sees everyone as equals. she is very nice to you even when you had been a major jackass, just as long as you apologize and tell her how special you think she really is. there will always be a time when you could approve susan's life. when you find that special thing, you should really do your best to brighten up her day. tell her how you really feel. for me, i would say that she is one of the few people i hope to be friends forever because she is a nearly perfect pal. when you meet her you will knoe what i mean. for me i knoe that i have been blessed with susan's friendship. i'm not a big believer in religion, but however i think that the creator sent susan down to earth to make sure we dun have our head in our a$$. susan's like my guardian angel. no matter how far she is, i'll knoe she'll be looking from afar and wishing the best things for me. that is why i think 10 weeks, 10 years, and 1000 years we will still be friends and listen to each other's silly stories and sad dramas.

here's one that t.g. had written that same day:

haha, daymz, iono even where to begin. susan is the person out of ALL my friends whom i've known the longest and still KIT w/. haha, remember mrs. fujii's class? lol, i remember you wearing this really fobby red azn dress :P Yup, and also us goin thru that math book or watever all fast the first day, and she told us to stop cuz we were goin too fast for the class. so long ago. like u said, a decade. tch, longer than a decade now. let's add a few more :) so sweet, honest, loyal, trustworthy,... almost like all the virtues wrapped up all in one. she's one of those ppl i can and will tell anything to. so yea, all you guys, don't go breaking her heart (heh, that's if she don't break urs first), or else ull haveta answer to me (lol, cuz thats scary), *cracks knuckles*. anyway sly, take carez and continue to stay in touch, or else (cracks knuckles again) :)

now from camille on 9/7/03:

WHOO HOOO! I'm the first testimonial!!! What can I say about my favorite daughter? Well, lemme start off by teling all of you how incredible this person is! I've never told her before but she has always inspired me in many ways. She has certainly gone through a lot for her age but even with all that, she was able to cope through the many different circumstances as well as changes in her life.... At the same time, Susanalso has the brains of Einstein!... sooo damn SMART and resourceful! She would always help me with just about everything!!!...Actually, she's the onle person, I know, that would put up with me even when I'd get soo annoying asking her about the same question over and over again!... That's right, she has sooo much patience (one of the things I greatly admire about her)... Besides that, Susan is one of the very few friends that I can be my crazy self with, which I think is one of the most important elements of a friendship (comfortability)...

reading these just made my day and put a smile on my face.

delete...

... what i did.

SOOOO CUTE!!!

one of the cutest videos i've seen! my lil bro!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03T2HQWrrC0

random...

i want to go on a hike and have a picnic... the typical picnic we normally imagine, w/ the real picnic basket and the red and white checkered sheet to sit/lay on. i think that'd be really great. aww...

annoyed

f'n annoyed right now...
EEEEEEFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

i hope i get that call soon. i need to get out of this place. =(

*sigh*

i feel sick.

PO-TA-TO -- Ladies' surprise trip for the boys

8/15/09



so it all started on aug. 10th... jeannie wanted to plan something, so it became a surprise from us to jerry and emmanuell. i gave my babe a clue - potato. friday night during dinner:

me: so when we get to the destination, we'll need to sign something.
E: are we signing a waiver? (pause) are we bungee jumping?!?
me: (silence) what??
E: honey, ARE we bungee jumping?!? honey!!!
me: would i do something like that to you??
E: (without hesitation) YES.

hahaha. so came saturday morning. we woke up before 6am, showered, packed, and got ready. the first destination required that he be blindfolded. once we arrived to the first destination, i started to punch in the keypad to open the gate. shortly after that failed attempt to successfully open the gate, he asks "are we at jerry's?". BOOO, the keypad gave it away. i gave the OK for him to remove the blindfold. after we picked them up, we made a quick run to mcdonald's and headed to the next destination. after the 70+ miles, we arrived to our destination - the ventura harbor. that's when they realized where we were going and what we were doing - a hike in channel islands national park. we were going on a 5 mile potato harbor hike. when we arrived to the santa cruz island, we ate, took pics, and went on our hike. when we got to the overlook, our jaws dropped as we gazed at the beauty of the view. it was absolutely gorgeous and stunning. my babe wasn't pleased that i climbed on the edge of the cliff, heh, he wouldn't leave my side. we completed the hike w/ plenty of time to spare before our 4pm boat ride back. after climbing rocks to take pics, we got back to the boat and arrived back to ventura around 5. next destination - camarillo outlets! we bought hiking shoes (my first pair!) and clothes from BR. i can't wait to wear them! afterwards, we headed to van nuys to end the day w/ dinner. pho = yummmm. heh, the guys said that now it's their turn to plan a surprise for us. after dropping jeannie and jerry off, we headed home. soo glad that my babe enjoyed the whole day!

new step? BIG step!

it's been a while since my last post. to sum up all the big things...

i met my babe's parents and relatives. i must say the timing was unexpected, and it was a lot to take on. however, i believe i did well w/ the family and passed w/ flying colors. heh, my babe said it went way better than he had imagined (i think he was very impressed w/ how well i did). =) i've been called as the "fiancee", "wife", and "daughter-in-law". heh, his family is now waiting for invitations. even w/ the circumstances and w/ everything that had happened during the trip, coming out of it made things about us feel stronger... more solid. it made us realize all the obstacles and challenges we have overcome and yet we still make each other smile. it made us feel more sure about what we want - each other. perhaps his family waiting for invitations is added pressure, heh. from these experiences, we decided to move foward and take a big step and move in together. i unpacked my first two boxes over the wkend. the first box consisted of picture frames and small decorations. the picture frames that we put up matched very well w/ his entertainment center. [heh, i told a friend that and she said "it was meant to be".] he said that seeing those additions to the apartment made it feel more right. i agree. =)

i'm looking forward to seeing how the wkend goes, particularly on sat. boy will he be surprised w/ what's been planned! excitement! =D

finally out

i feel refreshed. in pasadena now. i covered my apt w/ flea powder, no clue how i got fleas at my place! have accumulated 70+ bites, i'm finally able to do something about it. =) after drenching my carpet in powder, i packed up some stuff and took off. once i got to pasadena, i jumped in the shower. the smell of the powder was strong, and i needed to shower in case it got on my skin. after getting cleaned up, i had some breakfast/lunch, and i've been chillin' since. i feel good today. webcamming w/ my love was great last night. i met his aunt (dad's sister), and she said that i was beautiful (altho i was gross cuz i just finished working out and having dinner and such). hair was tied up and messy, i just looked gross! anyway, it was a nice chat. we booked tix for nov! (well, he did.) i guess i'm glad i'm back feeling this way after the silence the other night.

i miss you babe. counting the days til i'm back in your arms!

feeling of blah

bought a one-way ticket yesterday morning at work. i bought it while jen was in my office having breakfast. i'll be back in my babe's arms next weekend. i guess the question is how long i'll be there. i think the possible return date will be the 22nd. i still have to return for work. the ticket wasn't bad at all, surprisingly. i was excited when i purchased it cuz i get to see him. last night we booked tix for thanksgiving wkend. things were going well, then the mood changed. i didn't enjoy the rest of the night. silence and uncomfort.

i want it.

i guess things are okay now. but why do i still feel blah?

unable to focus

i'm here at work now, unable to focus. i somewhat feel overwhelmed right now. i dunno what emotion i'm feeling. it just feels all bunched up together, and there's a knot inside me. my world's just spinning. i just want to shut down and cry. i dunno. i wish he was here. i'm worried, i'm scared, i'm stressed, i'm sad, i'm anxious. at this second, my thought is - i miss him so much. i wish i wasn't here. i feel stuck here. i'd rather be there instead of waiting here. i can't stand waiting, esp during urgent times. things are unfair where i am now, really unfair. if i could, i'd leave. i wish i was in bed now. i just want to go and scream it all out. i miss you babe.

last night was robert's bday dinner. even though half the table remained empty, it was nice. i think he enjoyed his day. 28!


blah, i want to cry. stupid confused feelings.

transition - goodbye xanga?

xanga seems more complicated w/ unnecessary added features. i think i'll try this and see how it goes. already seems easier since i can automatically access it when i'm on gmail.

my previous blogs: xanga.com/slyangel522

i had xanga since 2003... goodbye xanga?