Double date + advice

Last night, Emmanuell and I met up with my bridesmaid, Sandy, and her husband for Ethiopian food.  It was long overdue but we finally made it happen! 

I really appreciated them listening to me share about the drama I've been facing in the last several months.  It's been difficult for me.  They were very helpful and sincere when sharing their thoughts about everything and offering their advice.  I do have a big decision to make.  However, I need to be happy.  I have a feeling that whatever I decide, I will forever be blamed.

oh boy

have a 9am meeting this morning... i am definitely not looking forward to it since i don't have a good feeling about it.

C'est la vie

It's been a while since I've posted here.  I've been busy with work, little wedding errands here and there, and just doing other things.  Things have been fine for the most part.  Wedding planning is going very well.  We sent out invitations a few weeks ago.  Three months to go, time is going by fairly quick.  There's been some unfortunate events going on that have made me very upset in the past few months.  That's been bumming me out a lot.  I am giving up with my family.  It's too much heartache for me.  I can't do this anymore.  To be happy, I need to move on.  C'est la vie

Quick updates

It's been nearly a month since I've updated.  Not too much has happened.

• lunch date w/one of my bridesmaids and her hubby
• dinner w/ some of Emmanuell's grad school friends
• wedding errands
• visit a dear friend's mom in the hospital
• watching the playoffs
• apartment hunting
• watched "Thor" (surprisingly good movie)

Hopefully I'll be able to write more soon.

Star Wars Day

I found out from O that today is Star Wars Day.

May the 4th be with you.

Tough love

It's been over nine months since I've been engaged, and my wedding is less than eight months away.  For the most part, I am very excited for one of the biggest days of my life.  Unfortunately, there's been something that's been quite frustrating for me.  Normally, the couple's family would be excited for the couple's big day.  Sadly, I don't get that feeling from my family.  I've been thinking about it more lately, and it depresses me.  It's gotten to a point where I don't care anymore... I don't care if they don't attend my big day.  I've gotten unpleasant feedback.

For example:

• I did not get a "Congratulations" from my oldest brother since informing my siblings I got engaged on 6/6/10.  And til this day, nothing.  And to be told that the oldest son has to walk me down the aisle, are you f*ing kidding me??? 
• I called my sister during my lunch break one day to let her know that a date's been set.  After telling her the date and time, she said that she would have to find someone to cover for her because she can't close the shop.  I asked if they would close the shop if they couldn't find anyone to cover.  Answer - no, they "can't".  Seriously?  For just one day?  I was really upset hearing that from my older sister - someone who I consider to be one of my closest siblings - after lunch that I told Emmanuell and even tried to hold back my tears.  Emmanuell ended up talking to my sister to say that it already hurts that no one seems to be excited for me. 
• My mom does not approve, and she never will.  There's no need to explain any further here.
• I've been told how I HAVE to invite my mom.  Given they know how much she despises the relationship and how miserable I was dealing with her physical, emotional and verbal abuse, I have to invite someone who I KNOW will do something traumatizing on one of the most important days of my life.  They make it sound soo easy, as if she'll happily accept the invitation and all of a sudden behave and accept my marriage to my future husband.  I'm sorry, you do know Mom longer than I have... do you not remember anything? 

It really sucks.  I hate it.  Given the fact on how important this day is to me, it disappoints me that I have to deal w/ this crap.  It's gotten to the point where I'm giving up on getting any support from my family.  I feel like there isn't even an ounce of excitement.  It hurts... a lot.  What also hurts is when I keep trying to hope that things have changed, but then nothing changes.  I receive the same outcome.  Going through that repetitive cycle of hoping that there is some sort of support/excitement/affection continues to get crushed.  Every single time, it's a slap in the face.  It makes me wonder if there is a point to be optimistic on this issue.  Why?  Because so far, it just fails me.  I thought that after my dad passed, things would get better (i.e. better communication, moral support, showing more affection).  I guess I thought wrong.  I've learned to not put up with that crap, to avoid getting screwed over by family.  It seems like me not wanting to put a car or house under my name (things that wouldn't serve as my own vehicle to drive in or a house for me to live in) labels me as the black sheep in the family.

I've worked my ass off.  Knowing that I have my loans to pay on top of my other expenses, I've been much better at managing my finances, and I refuse to get myself involved in situations where I feel I'd get screwed.  I have done my best to give my advice to forewarn them "no, don't do it" because I'd have a gut feeling that they'll get screwed over.  They go ahead and do it anyway.  Then lo and behold - bam, I'm right.

That's family...

Smile!

It's been one year since I got my braces removed.  Wow... I don't miss that at all!

One Year Already?!?

Today marked one year since I started my current job in the Dean's Office... Time flies!!!

Thursday Off

Today is my day off... a much needed day off.  I didn't really get to sleep in though.  I woke up at 6:15am and got ready to take my car in for service.  So Emmanuell and I are at a Starbucks near the auto shop waiting until my car is ready.  It's a nice day to just enjoy the day, especially since I was at work til 6 last night.  I met up w/ Ang to treat her out for her belated birthday.  Good times.  Hopefully we'll get to do that again soon.  I almost forgot how crazy traffic is going south on Veteran!

Anyway, I can't believe it's already approaching the end of the year.  We have plans to spend Thanksgiving with my family again.  I was actually assigned to plan one of my best friend's 25th birthday, so I chose SD.  I'm planning a group trip down to stay over and hang out.  We'll see how it goes.  We are also going to one of my bridesmaid's housewarming/1 yr wedding anniversary.  We love hanging out w/ them.  They're so laid back with things, that it's just nice to see a couple so perfect for each other with minimal stress.

Before we know it, December will come.  December = Christmas break!  I already gave Emmanuell two of his presents.  We'll be celebrating an early Christmas together before work gets crazy for me and family time.  Wow, time sure flies!

Ba

Ba, thank you for watching over us and protecting us from harm.  I love you very much.

tear

i miss hawai'i... and plumerias... and paul mitchell estates... =(

Really?!

Someone brought up a topic earlier I thought was interesting.  A friend of mine told me how her sig. other likes to browse pics of random female friends of his friends and her friends (basically friends of friends who are females).  Why?  No clue.  It bothers her, and, to be honest, I wouldn't like it either.  It's one thing if he's met that person, but it's another thing if he never did/has.  It makes one wonder - why are you checking out pics of that girl?  And it's not like the pics include the mutual friend in there.  Actually, the more I think about it, the more I'm annoyed.  Seriously, I wouldn't like my sig. other looking through photos of my girl friends, especially if I'm not in those pics.  It would make me think that they're curious about other women or checking out other women, and I would therefore think the guy is not completely happy in the relationship.  Really, what is the point to be looking at those photos anyway?  I'm one of those who are self-conscious, so something like this definitely bothers me.  It's like asking for trouble.  I found out my ex did that while we were together (one of the few things that really got to me), and obviously that relationship didn't go well.  Heck no, I ain't putting up w/ that sh!t.

shop shop shop

I looked at my expenses and thought about things I’ve bought.  So, I decided to write about the “big” purchases I’ve made.

Gifts – In 2006, I decided to do a dvd of memories for my fam, mainly as a tribute to my dad.  The entire 21-minute project cost me over $1,050.  I ordered 10 copies of the dvd and gave one each to my family members.  Overall, I was satisfied with the xmas gift I made for my fam.  When I get sad from thinking about my dad, I watch the dvd to cheer myself up.  It helps me cope with it.

Dinner – My friend, Odessa, and I have not forgotten about our dinner-for-two that cost us 1.5 bills in Morels French Steakhouse at the Grove.  BUT it was worth it!  The steak dishes we ordered were DELICIOUS.  I would love to go back.  The last time I had delicious steak (well, almost to that level) was at Ruth Chris’s.  YUMM for steak!

Purse – I bought my first Coach bag in 2004.  It was a gift I bought myself for working in stats for a year.  I wish my older sis didn’t introduce me to that brand.  Good thing I don’t shop there anymore.  I’m currently using the BR bag I bought a few months ago.  Aside from the occasional cleaning since it’s a light colored bag, I still love it (the color I got is an off-white color, not the grey below).  It’ll be THE bag for a WHILE.

Jacket – I didn’t think I’d spend soo much on a jacket, particularly a down jacket.  I needed a winter jacket/coat of some sort for the east coast xmas trip.  One night we went to The North Face in Beverly Hills.  After some browsing online on that site prior to going to the store, I had my mind set on one particular jacket.  I came out w/ a down jacket twice the cost.  I wore it to work once, and my coworkers said that I look like I’m from NYC.  I guess it helps since I’m severely anemic.  I’m so glad that I have a thermostat in my office so I can turn up the heat! 

Hair product – I was never into purchasing crazy expensive hair products.  I don’t have the money for that anyway.  One day, I started browsing for products to help strengthen my hair.  I hated my split ends and the tangles and knots I got around the back of my neck  (mainly due to my necklace).  After some research, I purchased a bottle of some Paul Mitchell strong strengthening spray.  It’s AMAZING!  It works wonders on my hair, and I can comb my fingers through my hair any time of the day and not get stuck.  Tangle-free!  I’m definitely satisfied w/ the purchase.

Shoes – Ahh, shoes.  I think that I started to increase my shoe collection after my 2nd bro’s gf would tell me all the shoes she’d buy.  I don’t have that many shoes to begin with.  I recently did buy more shoes in the past few months.   In November, I bought a pair of Naturalizer MBTs.  Normally those cost $250, but I found a pair on sale for $142 (after tax) in the Mary Jane style.  It’s comfy, and I like it.  Then last month, I bought a pair of heels that I got attached to.  We took a walk to Old Town and bought it!  Luckily the saleswoman was nice enough to tell us there was a coupon so I saved about $60 (although they ended up costing a bit more than the MBTs).  THEN yesterday, I decided to browse for boots cuz the one that my oldest bro bought me for xmas 2006 had a tear which allowed water to get in on a rainy day.  After browsing over 3,000 styles, I found one I really liked.  When I clicked on it, they only had a size 10!  Ughh, I started looking everywhere online.  After some time, I finally find one my size, or at least I think it’s my size.  Soo, this morning before making breakfast, I purchased it!  I’m hoping that it is the right size because this is the ONLY pair I found in size 8.  All the other sizes are at least 9.5.  I’m crossing my fingers! 

Alrighty, that’s all for now.  I can’t think of anything else to add.  Overall, even though these things cost more than I wanted to pay, these were all good purchases.  Oh, and Happy PI day!

bye bye january, busy busy february!

january went by pretty fast.  i have been focusing my attention elsewhere, away from training.  i really need to get that in order.  i will.  soon.  after i hear the good news.  i know that i've been unhappy at the workplace, and it just doesn't help when i get home.  that mood, lack of motivation, is from the blah day at work. 

my babe and i had an early vday celebration, mainly because we wanted to make use of dinela week.  oh boy, we were stuffed!  aside from the ugly traffic we dealt w/, dinner was great.  

so now comes february.  it started out w/ such wonderful news!  on thursday, it became official!  i received a phone call from julie to offer me the senior analyst position over in the dean's office.  of course, i said I ACCEPT!  i'm soo glad that this great opportunity came my way.  it really helps to have good support, for ppl to see and appreciate all the hard work one's done.  i will start my new job in 2 weeks.  i'm super super super excited!  thanks babe for helping me and pushing me to believe this could happen for me!

this morning was the surf city half.  all i could say is that i survived!  i walked a lot of it cuz my legs were in extreme pain.  i'm just glad i finished.  i didn't care about the time.  sigh, two weeks will be the pasadena one.  i can't wait for that one to be over, too.  yes, i will train for the one in july.  now that i might have a bit of extra time when i start my new job (work hrs will be different).  i can't wait!

memories of the 2000s

something i thought about this morning - significant moments that happened in the 2000s:

2000 - best year in high school/friends found out i was moving =(

2001 - moved to simi/transferred high school

2002 - robert saved me

2003 - entered college (UCLA baby!)/fam got evacuated from our house due to over 100k acres burned

2004 - my fam (except for mike, robert, and me) moved to texas

2005 - my dad passed away

2006 - reunited w/ my fam (they moved back to cali)/ucla beats usc (football... i actually cried that night)
2007 - graduated from UCLA

2008 - met the love of my life

2009 - moved in w/ my significant other

bored at work...

it's currently lunch time.  it's been slow here today since today is the faculty retreat.  the day's been pretty boring.  i think that the only 'exciting' part was chatting w/ 'babyface'.  normally when i would walk down the hall and pass by him, he would not say a word when i say "hi".  not sure why, maybe he's shy.  today, he came by to submit his app and he made convo.  oddly enough, he asked if i'm wearing mbt!  heh, the question isn't why he's looking at the bottom half of my body but how did he know about my shoes!  quite impressive.  anyway, it was a nice chat.  i always thought that he just didn't really speak to staff.  haha.

ugh, i just can't wait til the day's over.  it's just too slow.  i have more stuff to do at home compared to here! actually, i can't wait til the wk's over.  i'm busy everyday this wk, gots lots of chores to do.  i can chill on sat.  even tho i have an appt sat morning and will be prepping stuff before my friends come over, i will be more relaxed and will be in a good mood.  yay!

december is finally here

i'm back in the west coast, got back wed night.  unfortunately, i came back w/ a full blown cold, didn't even go to work on thurs cuz of it.  i've been sick for a week now, ugh.  i think i got sick last sun night.  it was just a bad night falling asleep w/ tears down my face.  after that dinner, i just had a completely different mindset.  i'm not sure if i'll be able to get those images out of my head, i really don't.  i was completely disrespected, it was just unbelievable.  honestly, i will never ever be okay w/ any of that behavior in the future, even if i'm not present to see it.  the damage has been done.  that was just a rude and careless stunt, and i'd be stupid to forgive for that.  i'm not sure what will happen from now on, but all i know is that it has become a problem.  i'm not gonna put up w/ any of that sh!t.  ugh, this just makes me extremely angry and want to do some clawing and punching.  go away!!! 


w/ all of that added drama, i'm soo glad that december is now here.  altho i've been sick all week, just being w/ my babe just makes me sooo happy.  he's been taking good care of me, and even w/ the stuffy nose and moments of breathing difficulties, i enjoy every moment in his arms.  yeah yeah, it's cheesy (yuck, cheese), but that's just how i feel.  yup, i love my baby. =)  


so i got my xmas gift early... i love love love love love it!!!  i smile whenever i look at my finger.  days before our philly trip, i got some bad news and emmanuell took me out to cheer me up.  we went through 5 different jewelry stores.  at store #5, i started to grow attached to their styles and designs.  all i'll say is that it's beautiful.  he spotted it before i did!  the more i looked at it, the more i loved it.  i'm just excited and happy and in love, and i don't want anyone/anything to interfere w/ that.  honey, i love you very very much.  i can't wait for our first xmas together!  <3 <3 <3 


now i'm hungy.    

 

What a month

december is right around the corner.  i can't wait!  this month has been quite a month.  you can be the judge of the smiley faces and the blah faces.  earlier in the month, emmanuell and i joined jeannie and jerry for the death valley camping trip.  it was really fun, except for the coyotes and the wind.  it was a nice short getaway from the city.  very much needed.  for a couple of wknds, i helped my sis w/ her business.  it was tiring, but it was nice hanging out w/ the kids.  sma organized an office-themed kickback, which was really fun.  i miss them a lot.  haven't seen them in a long time, so i'm really glad i was able to go since i missed out on the 'cuz john said so' dinner last night.  a couple wks ago, my coworker got divorced and a former coworker got married.  even tho there wasn't a fancy wedding nor a wedding gown, it was very nice and entertaining.  i'm soo happy for them!  =)

oh yea, the news i was waiting to hear for 2 wks came back w/ sad news.  i was really upset.  that evening, emmanuell took me out.  he surprised me w/ cupcakes then took me shopping in glendale.  he bought me an early xmas gift.  i can't wait to get it.  it's currently at the jewelers getting a couple diamonds fixed.  that's one thing i'm looking forward to (hopefully the end of this wk).  i'm glad he was there to cheer me up and lift my spirits.  it was def better than just staying in and letting me mope (he won't let me do that).  i love him. <3

this thanksgiving was the first time having a significant other there.  emmanuell and i spent the day w/ my family.  he got to help with the dinner preparations and just enjoy it w/ my family and me.  i hope he enjoyed all the dishes we had - 2 turkeys, 1 ham, 3 trays of candied yams, 2 trays of green bean casserole, a plate of green beans, a pot of home-made mashed potatoes, 2 huge costco pumpkin pies, 1 home-made apple pie, hawaiian bread rolls, corn, and gravy.  yes, there were tons of food for just a dozen ppl.  unfortunately i couldn't pack any leftovers since we were leaving to philly the next morning.  we got our butt up at 5am the black friday morning only to go to the airport.  thanks a bunch steven for getting up early and taking us to santa ana!  our first flight was full but the connection flight was close to empty, which was nice.  we got to philly at around 7ish eastern time.  not much going on here (in philly).  last night was my babe's 10 yr reunion, so i missed the ucla vs usc game (BOO!).  the bar was cool. i def felt young.  i felt like i was the only chinese there.  i kept turning my head to the tv hoping that the football game would be on.  instead, they had a short class of 1999 slideshow on repeat.  sigh... guess what killed the night... oh, and pete carroll has no class!

to be cont'd...

two weeks...

still haven't gotten my reimbursement approved by reviewer, ugh.

smiles

my sis called me while at work to tell me that sue said my babe and i look good together, that i found myself a good guy, no one ghetto or anything.  so she approves. =)