Tough love

It's been over nine months since I've been engaged, and my wedding is less than eight months away.  For the most part, I am very excited for one of the biggest days of my life.  Unfortunately, there's been something that's been quite frustrating for me.  Normally, the couple's family would be excited for the couple's big day.  Sadly, I don't get that feeling from my family.  I've been thinking about it more lately, and it depresses me.  It's gotten to a point where I don't care anymore... I don't care if they don't attend my big day.  I've gotten unpleasant feedback.

For example:

• I did not get a "Congratulations" from my oldest brother since informing my siblings I got engaged on 6/6/10.  And til this day, nothing.  And to be told that the oldest son has to walk me down the aisle, are you f*ing kidding me??? 
• I called my sister during my lunch break one day to let her know that a date's been set.  After telling her the date and time, she said that she would have to find someone to cover for her because she can't close the shop.  I asked if they would close the shop if they couldn't find anyone to cover.  Answer - no, they "can't".  Seriously?  For just one day?  I was really upset hearing that from my older sister - someone who I consider to be one of my closest siblings - after lunch that I told Emmanuell and even tried to hold back my tears.  Emmanuell ended up talking to my sister to say that it already hurts that no one seems to be excited for me. 
• My mom does not approve, and she never will.  There's no need to explain any further here.
• I've been told how I HAVE to invite my mom.  Given they know how much she despises the relationship and how miserable I was dealing with her physical, emotional and verbal abuse, I have to invite someone who I KNOW will do something traumatizing on one of the most important days of my life.  They make it sound soo easy, as if she'll happily accept the invitation and all of a sudden behave and accept my marriage to my future husband.  I'm sorry, you do know Mom longer than I have... do you not remember anything? 

It really sucks.  I hate it.  Given the fact on how important this day is to me, it disappoints me that I have to deal w/ this crap.  It's gotten to the point where I'm giving up on getting any support from my family.  I feel like there isn't even an ounce of excitement.  It hurts... a lot.  What also hurts is when I keep trying to hope that things have changed, but then nothing changes.  I receive the same outcome.  Going through that repetitive cycle of hoping that there is some sort of support/excitement/affection continues to get crushed.  Every single time, it's a slap in the face.  It makes me wonder if there is a point to be optimistic on this issue.  Why?  Because so far, it just fails me.  I thought that after my dad passed, things would get better (i.e. better communication, moral support, showing more affection).  I guess I thought wrong.  I've learned to not put up with that crap, to avoid getting screwed over by family.  It seems like me not wanting to put a car or house under my name (things that wouldn't serve as my own vehicle to drive in or a house for me to live in) labels me as the black sheep in the family.

I've worked my ass off.  Knowing that I have my loans to pay on top of my other expenses, I've been much better at managing my finances, and I refuse to get myself involved in situations where I feel I'd get screwed.  I have done my best to give my advice to forewarn them "no, don't do it" because I'd have a gut feeling that they'll get screwed over.  They go ahead and do it anyway.  Then lo and behold - bam, I'm right.

That's family...